I will start off this post with something perfect. THE MOST perfect. I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS PHOTO HAPPENING THAT'S HOW PERFECT IT IS. This moment was so good it made me black out, have an orgasm(yeah AFTER I blacked out) and when I woke up the next morning on the kitchen floor I found kitten hairs on my lips and I smelled of musky rose perfume. My arm doesn't even look that fat. Seriously how did that happen? Sure I wanna punch my hair and I look like I'm pooping, but that doesn't matter. I'm being positive right now. This is cute.
I am no longer a lady who does not cry. I cry at everything now. ALL OF IT. Not but really I'm fine. I have only turned into the most sensitive person in the universe. Situations have not been ideal lately and I am not handling them terrible well. Sorry. This is me not being that positive, but being apologetic about it.
THINGS THAT HAVE IMPROVED WITH MARRIAGE:
1. Russell lets me pick at the skin on his feet (BEST CASE SCENARIO FOR ME BECAUSE I AM WEIRD AND DISGUSTING).
2. Russell will poop while i'm getting ready for work in the bathroom because he knows I can't leave him for doing so (this is not an improvement for me I swear).
3. I can ask Russell politely to have his *Magic The Gathering* nights in the dining room so I can e
4. Russell has decided that he wants to bake bread all the time. This is directly related to the decrease in holly ass improvement 2011 because as proven by last Sunday, I will eat an entire loaf of bread if nobody tells me no.
5. Russell has to eat what I cook because we're on a "budget." Baked pears with OLIVES EVERYWHERE SUCKAAAAAAA>EAT THE OLIVES EAT THEM WAHAHAHAHABA HA!
6. I never have to vacuum again. Ever. That is men's work.
7. Post marriage has made me nesty. I would have started nesting sooner if someone had told me it could involve spending LOTS of money and streamers.