ME: stop being a dick, you can totally handle this.
ME: i'm going to cry every night.
ME: yeah, you are.
ME: life is horrible. You go to school. You finish school. You get a job to feed yourself and occupy your time. Then you're old. You lose bladder control. You're alone. You're a burden. Then you die.
ME: OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SO DEPRESSING
ME: it's true though.
ME: so, yeah. This school thing? Totally can't do it.
ME: nope. When does it start?
ME: run away.
ME: fine, spend lots of money on things you don't need.