2nd anniversary, Russell's birthday, BABY DOG and Halloween

2nd Anniversary bubs. We put a lock on a bridge we used to walk over a lot.

Russell and Alex's birthday. We had a french fry party. 

I made that vegan PB and J cake. It was a hit.

Elliot u_u

If you get this, good, I like you.

Lynn and Christian

Meet Pona our darling sweet baby angle who is biting my feet as I type this.

She was a greaser for Halloween

Elliot godzilla and Holly dolly


Here's some Canada photos to lighten the mood around here.

Here's Niagara Falls. It was a really big waterfall.

This lady was feeding these herds of rad black squirrels. 

These are my awesome inlaws being babes. 

Here we are making you sick to your stomach.

And here's where you throw up.

Things in bottles that I couldn't look at because they made me itchy.

The best day of my life.

I seriously lost my shit in this place. so much shiny rocks

That's vegan Poutine and those are vegan ribs and this was my favorite meal. 
Obligatory Honest Ed's shot.

Looking down on the glass floor on the CN Tower.

Lindsay being way cute.

We sat here after stuffing ourselves at a Vegan Festival.

He let me pick at his blackheads he is perfect for me.

Russell's Magic the Gathering world championships VHS from High School. 

Everything I bought.


It's about time I wrote this.

 (Trigger warning: mentions of suicide and rape)
Growing up, I knew I was different. I know it's cliche, but it applies. I liked and felt attracted to all kinds of people, not just boys. I knew it wasn't how everyone else felt and the older I got, the more I heard it was wrong. That I was gross. That my feelings were disgusting. And I hated myself. I never talked about it. I couldn't even bring myself to write it in my journal. One time, in high school, I finally worked up the courage and wrote down the following sentence:
What if I'm gay?
I knew I wasn't gay, but I didn't have the language to talk about my feelings. I didn't understand sexuality. No one talked about it. I  knew that I was something and that something was wrong. I went into the bathroom and sobbed. My mom came down and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing.
I hated myself. I could never tell anyone. I ripped up the paper. I continued to talk about boys and boys only. Boys boys boys. I'm a girl. And girls like boys. Only boys. My dad made fun of those gross queers. He imitated floppy wrists and mocked dykes. I ached inside. I focused on my self loathing. It felt good to hate myself. I deserved it. I was the epitome of disgusting. I never talked about it. I plotted my perfect LDS marriage when I would be perfect and skinny and I wouldn't feel this way anymore. The love of a boy would make it go away. Going to the temple would make it go away. Hating it would make it go away. Praying would make it go away. Killing myself would make it go away.
Nothing made it go away.  I'm Queer. I always have been. I will be for the rest of my life. And I no longer hate myself.
I hear some of my friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances talk about LGBTQ people like they are some big abstract idea they can't even fathom. They don't think they know any LGBTQ people. They have specific disapproving nods when they talk about Queer people. They have big scared eyes and hearts full of pity and shame.They drop condescending sentences like.."oh she was that weird bisexual girl." Yeah, the Queers are ruining American families and they're coming for you. Or they're just children with irritable bowl syndrome and crippling shyness who can't stop crying in their bathrooms because they want to marry Cameron Diaz.

I know there are so many others who are hearing those things and hurting so bad and i'm so angry. I'm angry all the time and I'm tired of it.

I want everyone I know to know that I am Queer.
I'm Queer and that's good.
I'm Queer and I am good.


Russell and I have been married for a year.

Here are some things:
1. I:
    a. pierced my nose and cut off all my hair ( I know, yawn)
    b. went to a shit ton of therapy
    c. came out to my parents
    d. did a small performance at my university
        (learned I am far too nervous a person to performing anything ever ever ever again)
    e. had an art showing
    f. have been working two jobs since December
    g. received the very delightful nickname of 'Boob Locket' at a party
    h. lost three dear friends and an earth child to ~moving~
    i. got really into tumblr
    j. bought my first bikini ever
       (minus that creepy yellow one my mom put me in to take pictures when I was 3)

2. Russell and I talk about poop and burritos pretty much every day. I had no idea it would be such a part
   of our relationship.

3. For our anniversary, we pricelined a random 3 star hotel and hoped for the best. We ended up
    in a Comfort Inn past the Salt Lake airport (the middle of nowhere) in a smoking room. We went              
    swimming and met a nice gentleman from Alabama and watched a Pawn Stars marathon. The next day we
    went down town and ate all our favorite vegan food, went to a weirdo Mormon sculpture garden, saw          
    Beasts of the Southern Wild and went to the park where we got married.

4. We are going to Toronto in two weeks.

Hayao Miyazaki Poop

1. Howl's Moving Poop
2. My Neighbor Pooporo
3. Poopo Rosso
4. Poopcess Mononoke
5. Secret Poop of Arrietty
6. Poopyo
7. Poop in the Sky

The Spiral Jetty